This time five years ago if you told me that I would be the published author of a book called, “Beyond the Baby Blues” (or, really, anything!) I would have (I’m sorry to say this) probably rolled my eyes at you.
While I am not rude by nature, I was 37-weeks-pregnant, anxious, depressed, terrified of my impending repeat
c-section and had no idea what was yet to come.
The notion of a book with my name on the cover would have been laughed at, and then I would have gotten back to obsessively folding onesies, driving all over the Philadelphia suburbs looking for the perfect gray & yellow nursery hamper, and contracting.
And then, everything changed.
Alexander Beau Starr was born on October 24, 2013. I loved him instantly.
Soon thereafter, I began to experience my Hard Story, and suffered from severe postpartum depression that, at its darkest, could have claimed my life.
I am one of the lucky ones.
But along with my battle scars, the experience left a hole in me. As much as I love my two children, my Belle et Beau, a piece of me feels like something is missing. The decision to have a baby was taken — no, ripped — out of my hands.
Until it wasn’t.
Nearly five years later I still do not have the answer as to what is right for my family, but now I know that I have options. And, what I have learned is that so many ppd sufferers and survivors think that there is no hope for future family expansion and when they turn to the bookstore for resources, there is hardly anything there.
Is it safe to get pregnant again after having suffered from postpartum depression? How does it work?
In my case, how does one even attempt to get pregnant after one’s husband is so traumatized by the experience that he vows never to have more kids and makes sure to surgically secure said decision?
What about the other options? How else can someone expand a family?
For me, it seemed like the more questions I answered, the more appeared out of nowhere.
Because, what I have learned is that there is no one right decision. There are many ways to expand a family after postpartum depression.
There is also another choice. The choice not to expand; to grieve the loss of what you thought would be; to embrace life as it is.
And so, with all of these thoughts, and all of these experiences, and months of research, and countless meetings with doctors, and psychological professionals, and experts in the field and real moms who have explored all of the options above (and more), Rowman & Littlefield Publishing House and I are teaming up once again.
What happens beyond “Beyond the Baby Blues” and where do we go from here?
I will tell you…
in my second book!!!!!
Because, as I have learned, expanding one’s family after postpartum depression is never as easy as just knocking boots.
See you on the flip side. Literally.
THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!