Not too long ago I wrote a post about the things that I would, without a doubt, never be able to do. No matter how hard I worked, the “never” things in that piece were unattainable and I could accept some of those things more easily than others. Not being able to marry a Kardashian?
Not being able to Kardashian a kid out of me?
A bit more sad. (For further clarification, just read the post and you’ll see what I mean).
But just the other day, as I was counting my blessings, as I try to do, I was thinking about the things that have happened in my life recently,
you know, the other things that I have done, that I never could have dreamed of doing before,
and I realized that there have been some pretty freakin’ cool experiences under my belt and feathers in my cap.
And you know how much I love feathers.
Writing about these things–many of which I consider to be accomplishments–is actually just as hard as writing about the things I will never do, as this feels almost boastful.
I am not being boastful.
I am not boastful.
I am proud of how far I have come, yes, but I am far from being a braggart. Likely because I still feel that I still struggle with much too much. And, more importantly, it isn’t how I roll.
But if I am going to be counting my blessings, I figured that I should do so on here, the place where I am so honest about everything, good and bad. So much of what I write is so very hard and painful, so let me throw some good things at you.
The other things.
Never before did I think that I would be featured on the front page of the business section of The New York Times.
Never before did I think that I would get a book deal! I never thought that I would have a fantastic, experienced, savvy agent sign me and then subsequently shop my book to publishers who made me an offer to publish my story in an effort to help others.
Never before did I think that I could handle a week alone with my two children. I know that this is something that grillions of men and women do every day, but it is also something that I have not been able to do before.
Never before did I think that I would win “Best Parenting Blog” in a local, prestigious publication–an honor for which I did not even throw my hat in the ring.
Never before did I think that my son would be just as obsessed with showtunes as my daughter and I are (he still loves Les Miz but his number one song now is “You’ll be Back” from Hamilton. Probably because it’s amazing.)
On that note (no pun intended), never before did I know that I could write songs. Real songs of which I am really proud.
Never before did I think that I would move, and never before did I think that my house would be on a property with magical trees only seen otherwise in Dr. Seuss books.
Never before did I think I would be lucky enough to have a whole team.
Never before did I think that I would trade in my mom-mobile SUV for a pretty tiny and super fast sports car. Her name is Ruby. She has red seats and is small but mighty. We relate to one another like that.
Never before did I think that I would get to work with and represent so many amazing brands that are local, national and international. I have the best partners.
Never before did I know the feeling of holding my best friends’ children and feeling love for them like they were my own kin.
Never before did I think that I would be interviewed and written about, both on television and in print, regarding subjects like mental health, advocacy and monetizing a blog.
Never before did I think that I could walk in 4 1/2 inch heels. Now I dance in them. Not infrequently.
Never before did I think that I would get inked. And NEVER before did I think that I would then write about it here.
Never before did I think I would be on a first name basis with my fave musical artist (he said, “Hi, Rebecca. Rebecca Fox. Starr.” while on stage at the last concert I saw…), and featured on WHYY for dancing at his show.
And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t address something a bit more serious. Never before did I think that I would get up off the bathroom floor, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. I never thought that I would reach the place where I am, personally and professionally, as I clawed my way up, first to safety, and then to this place where I am now, which, fortunately, includes a lot of good.
The above is my best climbing pic. But I think you get the message.
I’ve come to realize that life is still hard for me, and harder than I often like to admit. Things that were once perfunctory (like cooking a gourmet dinner) are now causes for pats on the back. Celebrations, even. But never before did I realize that my tribe would step up as they have, and that in paring down my tight circle to what it is I would find some of the closest, most meaningful relationships imaginable. My friends have truly become my family, and my family is unparalleled in it’s excellence.
So the list of the “never” things can seem dauntingly long at times, but right now, in this moment, the list of
the other things
seems pretty darn great. Grand. Wonderful.
The other things are what makes my life colorful, and not at ALL gray as it once was. The other things once seemed completely unattainable or they were so foreign that they were not even on my radar. And now they are my reality. And for these other things, I feel so blessed.
Thank you, #teamMEA, for whether you are a long-time member or this is your very first post, you are now part of a circle that, if you let it, can be pretty magical. It can allow you to do things that you never before thought possible. It is a place where you can feel safe and celebrated and never, ever, ever alone.
Thank you for giving me all that you have given.
Thank you for all of the things
and, most of all,
for the other things.
(featured image via)