“…’cause it will not last forever.”

mommyeverafter — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 23:44:31 +0000

Tonight, my daughter and I did our normal bedtime routine.
I told her two stories (one about today’s camp show, and one about a big dolls from Frozen);
We sang through our repertoire of songs, but this time she insisted upon trading off with each word,
sometimes each syllable,
making
“Yan”-“Kee”-“Doo”-Dle” and the rest of our lineup feel extremely long.
(By the way, I have no idea that song make it into the ritual for my David Bowie and Brett Dennen loving daughter; that was a total husband move. And he doesn’t even know the real words. He ends it with “Yankee Doodle went to town, ’cause he’s a Yankee Doodle Dandy.”)
Anyway,
tonight, we did things as we always do, until it was time for the last portion of our bedtime routine: the snuggling.
We snuggled under the covers a bit, and then, somehow, we ended up with both of our heads under her pillow, faces touching in the dark.
And then I moved back just enough so that I could see her face, and we kept opening and closing our eyes at one another,
making the other laugh,
and the song that popped into my head was Billy Joel’s “This is the Time”. Weird, I know, right?
Possibly even weirder than Yankee Doodle.
(By the way, I remember being in second grade and watching the video montage for the 5th grade musical, “Clowns”, in which my husband played the role of “Roger” {He would not forgive me if I did not include that} and I used to get all choked up watching those big kids waving at the camera, knowing that there was something momentous happening. That time was changing, that life was changing, that the world around them would soon be different, and they would be saying goodbye to what they knew, as they headed off to an unknown future.)
So tonight, as we cuddled under that pillow, I thought about the words to that song.
This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
Cause we won’t
Although we’ll want to
They say that in parenting the days are long and the years are short;
They say that life goes by in a blink;
Tonight, I lived up to my daily intention, in that I cherished every moment,
every second with my daughter
under the pillow
in the dark.
This is the time to remember, cause it will not last forever.
These are the days to hold on to.
I am doing the very
very
best
that I can.

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Acts of loving kindness.

mommyeverafter — Wed, 07 May 2014 23:28:39 +0000

When I was teaching older kids, I used to reward my students for acts of loving kindness; little things that I would observe that would recognize these children for their good deeds and generosity towards others.
Today, I would love to make an Acts of Loving Kindness Chart of my own.
In one day, I experienced four completely separate, but incredibly meaningful, acts of unexpected kindness. We will go chronologically:
1. This morning when I was going through my daughter’s backpack I found a little, perfectly wrapped package with my name on it. Inside was the perfect little gift to make me smile. A fox, from a former colleague and my daughter’s former teacher. She is the kindest soul, and I so appreciate that though I no longer work across the hall from her, we are still connected.

2. I met my mom for a walk this morning after dropping my daughter off at school. My husband usually does drop-off, but had an appointment this morning, so I was up and out early and decided to take in some sunshine. We walked to the local market so that I could return a pack of bad cucumbers, but really, we caught up. We had so much to say, to fill each other in on, unbelievable, as I had literally slept under the same roof (and finished the same bottle of wine) as my mama just two days ago. As we walked she presented me with a sunglasses case. A fancy one. “Here,” she said. “Your sister wanted you to have these. Happy early Mother’s Day.” I have always loved my sister’s sunglasses and she felt that they weren’t right on her. So she gave them to me. I was so touched by this gesture. And I feel so lucky to have such a nice pair of sunglasses. I’m so fancy now.

3. Today, after I picked up my daughter from school, I found that the baby was asleep in the carseat, so in order to capitalize on his nap time and also to kill some time I took her to the drive through for a vanilla ice cream and a stop at the new organic market. There I bought three items: A red pepper, a peppered goat cheese, and a goat gouda. I am not kidding. It didn’t seem weird until I typed it out just now, but seriously, how weird is that shop? When we got home the baby was up, I fed him an avocado, and tried to straighten up an untidy kitchen, unloading and reloading the dishwasher and wiping down countertops. In the middle of my cleaning my doorbell rang. I expected to see a solicitor or neighbor, but instead it was an old friend. My husband and my love story connection starts way, way back when my dog used to run away in his backyard, and this friend is someone who knew us both as young children, completely independently of one another. She is the mother of my son’s oldest and best friend. She was also the division leader at the overnight camp where I went for a summer and 5 days. I was homesick. I didn’t last. She talked me through many a teary time.
She stopped over today to drop off gifts for my kids, to catch up and to bestow upon me something that brought me to tears.

I saw the word Live and I started to cry. I thought about my darkest hours. I thought about this past weekend. I was incredibly touched.
4. This evening, I opened a package sent to us from our Boston Besties. They wanted to cheer us up; to make us feel loved; to distract us.
Twin and Go Go sent us the best, sweetest (literally) care package.

I mean it when I say it made us truly feel cared for.
This time in my life has taught me so much. It has given me great perspective. During this time I have lost friends. I have become infinitely closer to others. It has helped to restore my faith in people, when it was almost all but gone.
Just today I was gifted with four acts of loving kindness.
And tomorrow I will make it my mission to perform acts of loving kindness to others.
Because I want to keep believing that people are good. That the world, even though sometimes strange and scary and sad, is beautiful.
And there is no better way to do that than shining from the inside out.

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Mommy Ever After » Cynwyd School

“…’cause it will not last forever.”

Acts of loving kindness.