Mommy Ever After » family love

Some folks.

mommyeverafter — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 23:58:32 +0000

This is the story of some folks.
You see, during times of great change or excitement, some folks handle their feelings (of being anxious, overwhelmed, excited, ill-prepared) by doing things like making lists, crafting spreadsheets,
seeking therapy
or running Marathons.
Some folks, when faced with an upcoming vacation and big move
that just so happen to be happening back to back
(like back2back. There isn’t even enough room between the vacation and move to justify hitting the space bar.)
do things like making checklists,
delegating,
planning and packing.
And some folks,
some other folks…
do this.

Agonizing over colors. Colors of things like future vacation nails and future house walls.
So the moral of this story is this:
Some folks are sensible, organized, calm and cool.
Some folks have perspective.
Some folks are decisive and deliberate and maybe even (appropriately) drugged.
And others,
well, others,
are yours truly.
(or as I am now known on the street, “White Diamond or Iced Cube Gray?!?!”)
The end.
Five Minutes Later…
I think I’m going with White Diamond. But check back with me tomorrow.

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When it rains…

mommyeverafter — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 23:17:57 +0000

The past few weeks have been trying.
I have felt overwhelmed.
And sometimes lonely. And sometimes scared.
It has been hard. For reasons that I have written about on here
and for other reasons that I have not.
And I have not chosen to share certain things because
I like to use this space to express my gratitude,
and to talk about sparkly shoes and dance parties and princesses.
And because there are some things that I’ve chosen to keep private.
But, as hard as this summer has been in some ways,
it has also been very beautiful.
I am so grateful that my loved ones, who were once ailing, are now healing.
I am overwhelmingly thankful for our incredible support system.
I am blessed.
Because as hard as much of this summer has been, it has also given me so many moments of wonder;
my daughter now speaking in small sentences
Hi Lola, woof woof!
No no, Ziggy, shhh!
And she learned to walk.
My baby walks!
And she sings.
My baby sings!
And she takes off her glasses and cleans them with a tissue.
My baby isn’t a baby!
Sigh.
***
Overwhelmed.
So tonight, as my feelings of fear crept back up into my throat,
threatening to choke me,
I decided to quiet the noise and take my girl for an evening walk to the park.
And as I walked, my baby walked by my side, and she stopped, right next to this.

Once again, my angels have come to the rescue.
And as soon as I saw that small, black feather, I could breathe again.
And I realized that everything will be OK.
I had my hand around my daughter’s tiny, delicate wrist, as she led me across the park
and I knew that we’d be fine.
We’d have to.
I guess sometimes I have to stop taking care of my little baby turned little girl,
and give her a minute to take care of me.
So yes, our rainstorm may continue,
the skies may open
and pelt us with hail
but as long as I have her hand to hold,
I know
I will be fine.
Just fine.

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While you were out

mommyeverafter — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 13:04:32 +0000

Shout out loud!
Bang on some pots and pans!
It’s been far too quiet around here.
This week was challenging for me,
as it was my first week back to work in the New Year,
as well as my first week of working every day since I was placed on bedrest a whole, long March ago.
So, this week, I succumbed to my nagging writer’s block,
and stepped away from the computer,
and soaked up every free minute of precious baby time.
I now leave her for a mere 15 hours a week,
which is up from the 5 hours a week I was working in the Fall,
and although I was prepared with a nice, gradual transition,
it is still hard.
So freakin’ hard.
I thought that it would be easier.
I thought that I would only be missing a quick meal and a long nap and that I’d be home before she knew I was gone.
I thought wrong.
I missed her saying a new word for the first time.
I missed her starting to pull up.
But, most of all,
I just missed her.
The love that I feel for this little girl is so profound,
and when I am away from her, I am not whole.
So, yes;
I’ve been so so quiet.
I hope you understand.
But, sound the drum!
Set off some fireworks!
I’m back.
And, I’m here to fill you in on what you may have missed.
So, without further ado,
here,
through photos and words,
is a little bit of what happened
while we were out.

A wonderful friend made me the best hot cocoa of my life,
I rocked a baby, who was not my own, to sleep,

My daughter and I had more dance parties than I can count,
I watched my mother give my daughter her sixth tutu,
My heart did a somersault, once again, when I said “My daughter”,
I sang Shabbat and I sang Shalom
and I said the Schehecheyanu for some exciting new beginnings in our lives.
And so, so, so much more.
And since my family time is now more precious than ever,
I shall leave you with a promise to be back very soon.
Stomp your feet!
Give a clap!
And hold your loved ones as tightly as you can.
I sure am.

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