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Home, again.

Rebecca Fox Starr — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 13:53:34 +0000

I am absolutely brimming with stories to tell;

I have good stories,

funny stories,

warm stories,

and a love story.

But I haven’t been able to write, because I have been too busy doing this thing called living.

So, I decided that while I took the time to craft and publish these stories, today, I would republish the story that I wrote on this date, March 30, of last year (not knowing what it would be). I thought that it would be a nice exercise to display just how far we as a family have come. I expected something emotional or a silly tidbit, but it just so happens that on March 30, 2014, in a serendipitous coincidence, I wrote a special post–the beginning of my “Hopeful Story”.

So, while you wait to read about my today, I hope you enjoy reading about my day last year, in

Home.

Originally Published on the old MEA site on March 30, 2014.

When we started thinking about having a second child, we were warned that two kids does not equal double the work, but instead, 100 times the work. We have not found that to be true. In fact, we don’t even think it is double the work. We feel like the jump from no kids to one kid was much greater than from one to two. I believe that this is in part due to the fact that we waited 3.5 years between kids, and my daughter can do things like let in the dog and go into the fridge for a snack and take herself to the bathroom. It is a juggling act at times, but it works. Despite my struggles, I haven’t felt overwhelmed by having two kids; unless you count feeling overwhelmed with love. And I mean it.
But having two kids does mean tag-teaming. My husband usually does my daughter’s bedtime. It’s a special time they share. He tells her stories; sometimes they are about Star Wars, sometimes about princesses; last night it was My Little Pony. He sings to her a certain repertoire of songs and they snuggle. It is very sweet.
But tonight, as a special treat (really, for all of us) I said I would come in after stories and songs for a snuggle session with my girl.
I crawled into her bed and rested my head on the pillow next to her. And I got that peaceful feeling again, one that has been so hard to find recently. But I got it.
And I asked her if I could sing her a song, because all I could hear in my head was the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros song “Home”s chorus.
Home,
Let me come home,
Home is wherever I’m with you.
“With you I feel home,” I told her.
“With you I feel whole,” she replied.
She is so amazing.
Home is wherever I’m with you.
Even though life has been hard, I am grateful for the little things, like 10 minutes of snuggling with my firstborn, who is growing up so quickly I can hardly catch my breath.
And I’m starting to find my way,
slowly,
arduously,
but I really am starting to head in the direction
towards home.

*Featured Image by Lindsay Docherty Photography

The post Home, again. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

Happy half birthday.

mommyeverafter — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 23:36:47 +0000

Today, my son turned six months old.
His half birthday.
I had such a hard time finding the words that I wanted to use to express how I am feeling. I want to do him justice. But these six months, man,
they’ve changed my entire life.
And without a doubt, this little (huge) guy has changed my life for the better
and for good.
I look back to the post I wrote for my daughter’s half birthday, three and a half years ago, and I am such a different person now. I am no longer a new mom. I don’t mark every milestone as fastidiously. I don’t plan princess parties to mark each month’s occasion.
But I love no less.
No less at all.
So in thinking, this is what I want to say about my son and his half birthday:
There’s this thing that I do with my daughter.
It’s like when I grab her hand from the driver’s seat in my car,
but even more powerful.
I hug her, hold her tight, breathe her in, and all of a sudden, the rest of the universe disappears.
I enter a new place.
This place is home to me. It is my place in this world, where I feel most at peace and most right.
When it comes to my son, the second child,
I feel as though I haven’t fallen prey to many of the common stereotypes. For instance, I still take a boat load of pictures of him, I still am tickled by each new thing he learns or does, I still honor his schedule,
but I realized, just yesterday, that I had yet to create a place in the world for just us.
I tested it.
It was in the middle of the day, right before we were set to pick up my daughter from school. And we weren’t busy playing on the floor or wrestling with a bottle. I was holding him and talking to him and all of a sudden, the urge to hold him close came over me.
And so I did.
And just like that,
home.
My place.
It is my place to be their mom.
These six months have been the hardest of my life, but not at all because of my son. His presence has brought me such joy.
He has blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair and smiles coyly, playing games already.
He sits with great facility, rolls all around, giggles at his sister, and on this past Easter Sunday, squealed with delight while eating smoked pork butt.
He is gentle. He is soft. He is sweet. He is round.
He is home.
And so while I may be in a new place, it is a place better than I could have ever imagined. I love my family in a way that I never thought possible.
And even though it’s been hard,
even though a lot of crap has happened,
I feel so blessed,
so lucky,
that I get to call them mine.

The post Happy half birthday. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

Home.

mommyeverafter — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 22:52:35 +0000

When we started thinking about having a second child, we were warned that two kids does not equal double the work, but instead, 100 times the work. We have not found that to be true. In fact, we don’t even think it is double the work. We feel like the jump from no kids to one kid was much greater than from one to two. I believe that this is in part due to the fact that we waited 3.5 years between kids, and my daughter can do things like let in the dog and go into the fridge for a snack and take herself to the bathroom. It is a juggling act at times, but it works. Despite my struggles, I haven’t felt overwhelmed by having two kids; unless you count feeling overwhelmed with love. And I mean it.
But having two kids does mean tag-teaming. My husband usually does my daughter’s bedtime. It’s a special time they share. He tells her stories; sometimes they are about Star Wars, sometimes about princesses; last night it was My Little Pony. He sings to her a certain repertoire of songs and they snuggle. It is very sweet.
But tonight, as a special treat (really, for all of us) I said I would come in after stories and songs for a snuggle session with my girl.
I crawled into her bed and rested my head on the pillow next to her. And I got that peaceful feeling again, one that has been so hard to find recently. But I got it.
And I asked her if I could sing her a song, because all I could hear in my head was the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros song “Home”‘s chorus.
Home,
Let me come home,
Home is wherever I’m with you.
“With you I feel home,” I told her.
“With you I feel whole,” she replied.
She is so amazing.
Home is wherever I’m with you.
Even though life has been hard, I am grateful for the little things, like 10 minutes of snuggling with my firstborn, who is growing up so quickly I can hardly catch my breath.
And I’m starting to find my way,
slowly,
arduously,
but I really am starting to head in the direction
towards home.

The post Home. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.