Mommy Ever After » Sister

Acts of loving kindness.

mommyeverafter — Wed, 07 May 2014 23:28:39 +0000

When I was teaching older kids, I used to reward my students for acts of loving kindness; little things that I would observe that would recognize these children for their good deeds and generosity towards others.
Today, I would love to make an Acts of Loving Kindness Chart of my own.
In one day, I experienced four completely separate, but incredibly meaningful, acts of unexpected kindness. We will go chronologically:
1. This morning when I was going through my daughter’s backpack I found a little, perfectly wrapped package with my name on it. Inside was the perfect little gift to make me smile. A fox, from a former colleague and my daughter’s former teacher. She is the kindest soul, and I so appreciate that though I no longer work across the hall from her, we are still connected.

2. I met my mom for a walk this morning after dropping my daughter off at school. My husband usually does drop-off, but had an appointment this morning, so I was up and out early and decided to take in some sunshine. We walked to the local market so that I could return a pack of bad cucumbers, but really, we caught up. We had so much to say, to fill each other in on, unbelievable, as I had literally slept under the same roof (and finished the same bottle of wine) as my mama just two days ago. As we walked she presented me with a sunglasses case. A fancy one. “Here,” she said. “Your sister wanted you to have these. Happy early Mother’s Day.” I have always loved my sister’s sunglasses and she felt that they weren’t right on her. So she gave them to me. I was so touched by this gesture. And I feel so lucky to have such a nice pair of sunglasses. I’m so fancy now.

3. Today, after I picked up my daughter from school, I found that the baby was asleep in the carseat, so in order to capitalize on his nap time and also to kill some time I took her to the drive through for a vanilla ice cream and a stop at the new organic market. There I bought three items: A red pepper, a peppered goat cheese, and a goat gouda. I am not kidding. It didn’t seem weird until I typed it out just now, but seriously, how weird is that shop? When we got home the baby was up, I fed him an avocado, and tried to straighten up an untidy kitchen, unloading and reloading the dishwasher and wiping down countertops. In the middle of my cleaning my doorbell rang. I expected to see a solicitor or neighbor, but instead it was an old friend. My husband and my love story connection starts way, way back when my dog used to run away in his backyard, and this friend is someone who knew us both as young children, completely independently of one another. She is the mother of my son’s oldest and best friend. She was also the division leader at the overnight camp where I went for a summer and 5 days. I was homesick. I didn’t last. She talked me through many a teary time.
She stopped over today to drop off gifts for my kids, to catch up and to bestow upon me something that brought me to tears.

I saw the word Live and I started to cry. I thought about my darkest hours. I thought about this past weekend. I was incredibly touched.
4. This evening, I opened a package sent to us from our Boston Besties. They wanted to cheer us up; to make us feel loved; to distract us.
Twin and Go Go sent us the best, sweetest (literally) care package.

I mean it when I say it made us truly feel cared for.
This time in my life has taught me so much. It has given me great perspective. During this time I have lost friends. I have become infinitely closer to others. It has helped to restore my faith in people, when it was almost all but gone.
Just today I was gifted with four acts of loving kindness.
And tomorrow I will make it my mission to perform acts of loving kindness to others.
Because I want to keep believing that people are good. That the world, even though sometimes strange and scary and sad, is beautiful.
And there is no better way to do that than shining from the inside out.

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BEST.

mommyeverafter — Mon, 14 May 2012 00:52:32 +0000

From my sister, on Mom’s Day:

She knows me. She knows me best.

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If I don’t write, I will burst.

mommyeverafter — Mon, 07 May 2012 00:59:10 +0000

So, as you well know, I’ve been on a little wriatus. I’ve taken some time off the grid, and it’s been nice.
Certainly, I’ve missed chronicling my daily moments of wonder (from the quick photo snapped of a tiny tush in even tinier skinny jeans to a 2-year-old’s inventive original song lyrics to the foodshots of my many missed meals), but I’ve also been enjoying these things so much that I don’t think I will soon forget them (whether they are cyber-documented or not).
All that said, I thank you for tolerating my absence, and know that I was thinking of you. All the time. Seriously. And you look really nice tonight. I love that color on you.
In any case, I am just recovering from (reeling from. reliving. rejoicing in…) a weekend experience that was so special to me, so overflowing with happiness and emotion
that I could no longer contain myself.
This weekend, I visited my sister’s city, to both cheer her on for a big race and to help a dear friend to celebrate her special birthday.
And this weekend was SO important. Not only was it the first time that I left the baby and her daddy together,
but it was a real weekend away, during which I could feel like me again.
On my way to the train, I got a text from my dearest mama friend, and she told me this:
“Enjoy your Becca (not mommy Becca, not wife Becca, just you) time.”
I mean, come on. How lucky am I?
And so I took that advice and I ran with it. I ran with it in the kind of high wedge sandals that I could never wear while carrying my kid.
I let myself have a total girlie weekend
with my sisters (by both birth and by experience)
and it was so special.
So much about yesterday was wonderful; the bright red manicure my sister coaxed me into getting; the time we had to pour over the different styles of lace in a fancy lingerie shop; the snuggle session on my dear friend’s cozy couch, pouring our hearts out over kale chips and Prosecco; the fact that I had my TWO hands free, at the same time, for 24 hours straight; the moment I saw my sister cross the finish line at a sunrise half marathon, as she obliterated her previous race times; this weekend was so special and I will tell you more, I promise,
but for now,
all I can give you is a single snapshot:
My sister and I got to have lunch together, yesterday. Just the two of us. We were tucked into a small table in the far corner of the coolest little restaurant. We were enveloped in the music of Roy Orbison and The Ronnettes and the other amazing tunes that filled the air. And then there was the food. As I mentioned, my sister was preparing for a half-marathon, so we had to make sure our lunch was a feast (OBVIOUSLY I had to be there for moral support. No one can eat like that alone. I know. I’m a giver.) And so, we decided to order everything on the menu that appealed to us. We started with donuts. One for each of us, and we polished them off so quickly that I barely had time to bop along to the song from Dirty Dancing that swirled over our heads. And then, our table was soon covered in everything from blueberry buttermilk pancakes to perfectly runny eggs to homemade sourdough toast. And more. Lots more. And for two little girls, we put a real hurting on this meal. And by that, I mean we did not leave a single drop. Not a crumb. And this was not just because she needed to store up on resources before running over 13 miles; we ate because we were dining and we dined because we were lost in conversation; the kind of conversation that has become such a luxury for us. When I became a mom, my sister became an Aunt
(an AMAZING Aunt)
and so our conversations are now brief, and in between naps and bedtime, and usually with a chatty toddler chiming in in the background. We do our best to stay in constant (or at least consistent) contact, but it is hard.
But during this brunch, with our favorite songs playing
and our bellies full
we were able to talk. To really talk. We talked about future baby names and gave each other life advice and we planned things together and it was precious. So precious and it brought us
–us as the “us” we became 23 years ago when we became sisters–
back to life.
And we both knew it.
Because, when it’s all said and done, she’s my sister. And I will have no other.
She’s the one who knew, an hour after brunch, that it would take me at least 15 minutes and 3 “false starts” before deciding on my nail polish color.
I’m the one who woke up with her every hour from 1am-3am to make sure she was OK before race day.
She’s the one who lit up and shouted in surprise and glee, her arms raised high over her head, as she saw us cheering for her at mile 9
and I’m the one who felt so grateful that I was there to cheer right back at her.
She’s the one who just called me, as I sat here typing these words about my adoration for her,
just to thank me for being so supportive of her and making her so happy.
And I’m the one who says,
I love you, too. More than you will ever know.
So, a snapshot of two sisters
who love each other more than they could ever express
and who,
no matter how many things they have going on in their own lives
will always make time for each other.
And for donuts.

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(The Big) Apple-y Ever After

mommyeverafter — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 02:59:49 +0000

Scenes from our little visit to our little sis:
We have arrived/sister’s turf/brunch/new meaning to “Bar of Soap”/a sweet little package/beautiful day in the neighborhood/Seals!/visiting an old favorite/my selection/a Barcelona flashback/The End
(Not pictured: An Anderson Cooper sighting/home fries and hugs with a dear friend/millions of baby and babysister moments)

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“With dearest love”

mommyeverafter — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 04:49:27 +0000

I was about to turn in for the night, when I heard the computer buzz, signaling that an email had come through.
I was not going to check it.
I am so glad I did.
It was from my sister.
In the subject line, she told me to read this to her niece.
The body of the email was this:
In 1933, F. Scott Fitzgerald ended a letter to his 11-year-old daughter, Scottie, with the following:
Things to worry about:
Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship
Things not to worry about:
Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions
Things to think about:
What am I really aiming at?
How good am I really in comparison to my contemporaries in regard to:
(a) Scholarship
(b) Do I really understand about people and am I able to get along with them?
(c) Am I trying to make my body a useful instrument or am I neglecting it?
With dearest love,
Daddy
(Source: F. Scott Fitzgerald: A Life in Letters / Lists of Note )
Thank you, computer, for enticing me to check my email.
Thank you, Scott, (can I call you Scott?), for never ceasing to move me.
Thank you, sister, for being you.

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the pink babies pledge to act cool, to look cool and to beeeee cool.

mommyeverafter — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:11:27 +0000

“This baby smells amazing. Do you know what she smells like? Barbie shoes. You know how they had that smell? That’s what she smells like. She smells like pink.”
-My little sister, tonight, as she held the baby and breathed in her (deliciousintoxicatingbeautifulsoftsweetwonderfulscrumdiddlyumptious aroma)

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and she did Tell Me More

mommyeverafter — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:11:42 +0000

“You know what’s sad? I’m in the slow part of Summer Lovin’ right now.”

-the baby sis

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from the mouths of babes…

mommyeverafter — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:15:51 +0000

…and baby sisters.

As I may have mentioned before,

my sister is a summer intern at the White House.

What I may not have mentioned is that she has been dating someone,

a chap from somewhere overseas,

and he will be returning home this week.

So, just this afternoon, I got the following text from the baby sis:

It read,

“What if [insert name of foreign mystery man] and I are like Grease. We will go back to school and people will ask about our summers and we will spontaneously break out into “Summer Lovin’. ‘Took her bowlin’ in the arcade…”

Well, all I have to say about that is,

Tell me more, tell me more,

like, does he have a car?

There’s nothing like some good musical theater,

or a message from my sister that makes me actually laugh out loud,

on a quiet, hazy Wednesday afternoon.

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