Five years ago I wrote the post below,

completely, blissfully unaware of what my life would look like today,

one new house, one new child, a million tears and a grillion smiles later.

But, it is worth noting that my heart has still been growing. And now, as my sweet girl cuddles up by my side on the day before Thanksgiving, now an actual person, that my heart has grown in unquantifiable ways.

So has my ability to love.

So has my ability to give thanks.
And so, I present to you, Thanksgiving, five years ago.

Here’s to

clear eyes, full belly, can’t lose.

******

2 years ago, on Thanksgiving, my husband told me that he wanted us to have a baby.
Now, I had decided that I wanted to have babies with this man long before,
but that does not mean that it was not amazingly, incredibly wonderful to hear those words from the man I loved.
I will never forget how we dined with my family, that night,
how he led me into another room, holding my hand, and told me that he wished that we could have said, “And we are also thankful that there will be another person at this table next year.” as we went around and gave thanks.
That’s when he knew he was ready.
That’s how he told me he was ready.
That’s when my heart grew about 3 sizes,
and when I knew that we were embarking upon a journey, after which we would never be the same.
One year later,
at our Thanksgiving table,
he rubbed my five-month-pregnant belly as he gave a toast about how blessed he felt that a new member would be joining us at the table the following year. When we each went around and said what we were thankful for, each person, without fail, mentioned the tiny baby that was growing inside my belly.
And speaking of belly, I just dug this up.
Thanksgiving 2009

That was 4 days before we would find out that our precious baby was a baby girl.
That was 4 months before we would find out just how much we could love another human being.
That was before our hearts would grow another 4 sizes.
And then another 4.
And another 4.
Our hearts are still growing. Sometimes I feel as though mine will spill over. I can actually feel love; I feel love palpably and tangibly, as it courses through me, now. When I stare at my sleeping dear, and inhale her soft scent, I feel as though my insides are being set on fire with this most powerful, intoxicating love. I get it, now. I so get it.
And so, yet another year later,
this baby,
the one we had just wished for two years before
and dreamed about one year ago,
was a real person.
A real member of the family and fixture at the table,
talking and giggling and playing and high-fiveing and kissing and being so so so so loved.
Needless to say, we are so so so so thankful.
I am thankful that she is so adored and treasured by our incredible family.
I am thankful that she is so love-able.
And, I am thankful for her daddy, who wrote the beginning of her story, two years ago, as he held my hand
and my growing heart.
Well, look at that.
My heart.
It just grew another whole size.
Or, maybe 4.