Mommy Ever After » baby bedtime

Dear Son,

mommyeverafter — Mon, 06 Oct 2014 22:31:37 +0000

We just got quite the treat you and I, now didn’t we?
I got to do your bedtime tonight.
I am usually stuck with that sister of yours.
Just kidding (about the stuck part, that is. You know she and I love our nightly snuggle session).
Oh but tonight, how delicious it was.
Your room was dark and I held you,
solid you,
in my arms in your chair,
and I gave you your evening bottle
and as I fed you I kissed you,
your little head
and your full cheeks
and I mean I really kissed you.
I inhaled as I kissed, and I took in the smell of you, just bathed,
so clean,
but also your essence;
your calm.
In the dark, I could not see how fair you are; how your hair is golden red and eyes so pale blue. In the darkness we almost looked alike. Like we belong.
Well, dear, we do.
I held you close tonight, because in 18 days, my little boy,
you will be turning one.
How is that even possible? Last year at this time we were frantically building a backyard and planting mums
and I was already having contractions.
And it feels like 5 minutes ago.
Tonight I held you and listened to the sweet little sucking sound you make as you drink,
and I thought of the nights I spent nursing you,
and how I no longer have an ample, full chest on which you can rest your tired head, but that my love for you is larger than ever. It is big and it is grand.
I whispered to you as I held you tonight.
“I love you so much, my boy.”
“You are such a good, good boy.”
And I hope that you grow up believing it, every day of your life.
You are heavenly. Plump and smiley and naughty and sweet and cuddly,
your thumb never far from your soft little mouth.
And I didn’t want to put you down tonight, son. But when I did, you were such a good boy. You turned over onto your tummy, you sucked away at your little thumb
and I watched you, as you knew just what to do to get yourself to sleep.
Because you are amazing.
You are amazing you. And I am so lucky to be yours.
Love always,
Mama

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Dear Baby,

mommyeverafter — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 01:16:37 +0000

Why did you take so gosh darn long to fall asleep tonight?
Was it the 2 1/2 hour afternoon nap, snuggled up under the cool white sheets with Mommy as the fan whirred above our heads?
Was it the extra few bites of Mama’s key lime cupcake? Is a sugar high to blame?
Were the songs from our evening dance parties still moving in your head?
Whatever it was, you were quite the pistol tonight.
I watched you in your crib, your eyes closed like little flower petals,
and as soon as I’d creep out of your bedroom,
you’d pop right up and try to talk to me.
“OOOH!”, you’d say.
“Hiiiiiii!”
And I’d come back, kiss your little head,
and we’d start all over again.
But, alas, you finally fell asleep,
a whole 80 minutes after our bedtime first began,
and you’re now breathing deeply as you hold your PinkBeary in your arms and dream of things like Showtunes and sprinkles (or is that just what I dream of?).
And as soon as I saw that your eyes were really closed and your chest was rising and falling in your slumber,
I was able to crawl out of your room, careful not to make a noise,
while the sound of your deep breathing echoed in my ears.
And it’s been a minute now, since I crossed the threshold of your nursery,
and I already miss you.
I miss you bad.
I can’t wait to see what adventures we create tomorrow.
Love you to pieces,
Mama

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last night/bedtime/as you fell asleep in my arms/a haiku

mommyeverafter — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 11:57:52 +0000

When we rock to sleep,
we are the sole two souls, dear,
in this grand, grand world.

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Being a mama means

mommyeverafter — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:36:17 +0000

that on the night that your baby decides to stay up 3 hours past her bedtime,
(not screaming,
not crying,
not whining,
but just talking and laughing and sitting and playing),
and you finally get her to fall asleep at quarter to 11
on the night before your longest, toughest night of the week,
when you still have laundry to do and things to straighten up before retiring to bed,
you will still take your baby’s messy, sweet potato covered t-shirt and hold it to your nose,
breathing in your baby’s scent,
because in the five minutes that she’s actually, finally, been asleep,
you’ve already begun to miss her.

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