Having your dear friends from out of town come to visit.

Do you know what is even more awesome?

Sitting in the backseat of a parked car with your TWIN, while the men are in the grocery store, picking up the goodies for a late afternoon BBQ…

with a SCREAMING 16 week old baby.

So, it’s super awesome when you decide to calm her down by driving around the parking lot, in circles, while Twin is shaking the car-seat, inserting the pacifier, jiggling the toy keys and singing, sweetly.

Except, when none of those things seem to work.

Then, things go from awesome to crazy.

So, in a last ditch effort to keep the peace, you park, take the baby out of her infant seat and hold her, rocking her,

to pacify her, lovingly.

And then,

you think,

she must be wet.

So you decide to change her diaper.

So, you remove her sopping diaper and, once again, hold your sobbing baby in your loving, mama arms.

And then, miraculously, she stops crying.

And, even more wonderfully, she starts to smile.

And why, you ask, does she break out a full-faced grin?

Oh, because she has just peed all over you.

And when I say all over I mean

all. over.

And so, the moral of this story is that if you, someday, find yourself

in the backseat of an SUV,

with your twin by your side,

and your baby is wailing, non-stop,

and you think just for a second that the best possible solution means taking off her diaper and letting her rest across your knees,

um,

commando

(or, commandA, as the case may be)

remember,

you might soon be sitting in a pool of your daughter’s pee,

for a long,

uncomfortable

15 minute car ride home.

Hey, my little mid-day “sprinkle” may not have qualified me for the mom-of-the-year award,

but it did, in fact, grant me the privilege of being “first shower” upon our return home.

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when he’s in the baby’s room,

changing a poopy diaper,

and you hear him say, “Get ready for take-off!”

before he races around the upstairs, baby in arms, as he takes her on a pre-nap flight.

It’s the really good guys who can turn something like a diaper-change,

into a special, exciting, bonding experience with the baby.

And although she may not remember this day or this flight,

I sure will.

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So, when my daughter’s poop started to look a little funky when she was 7 weeks old, of course I wanted to check it out. So I took her to the doctor. Twice.
And called the doctor.
Twice
(if you multiply twice times four).
And I may have examined every single diaper like a forensic investigator at a crime scene.  Which, of course, involved a smell test.
If someone had told me several months ago that I would willingly stick my nose into a poopy diaper I would have thought they were freakin nuts.
But, hey, new mommyhood.
So, after a particularly offensive poop, I did just that. Stuck my nose into her diaper. I stuck my nose a little too far. Poop on the face! Red alert. Or should I say, Green alert.
I told you, funky poop, ok?
So, what did I do?
I Purelled my entire face, duh.
Twice
(if you multiply twice times four).

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