Last year=THE WORST

This year=cheery, cozy, chocolatey, chummy, cocoa-y, Christmasy, Chinese food-y, cookie party-y, etc.

I have a whole Christmas Story (not to be confused with A Christmas Story, mostly due to the fact that I have never seen that film) waiting to share with you tomorrow, but for now, just a little taste…

or, in my case, a sip.

***

In the cast of characters in our lives,

our amazing next-door-neighbors-turned-dear-friends have moved from “guest stars” to regulars in the opening credits.

We are super tight, and feel incredibly lucky.

In the past year, they have been so many things for us (drinking buddies, babysitters, bandmates, shoulders to cry on, video-game teammates).

They are amazing people and solid friends.

And in the past two years since we moved next door to them, we have had drinks together approximately 100 times. I’m not great with numbers, but that seems fairly accurate.

And I like red wine. And red wine likes to stain my lips and teeth.

So you know, if you’re like me, and your lips take up a good  1/3 of your face, when you are drinking red wine with people who are your new friends, you kind of surreptitiously signal your spouse, asking, “Are my lips purple?”

And then, as time goes on, you lose some inhibition, and you ask your spouse publicly.

And then, as more time passes, you ask your friends, because you’ve grown comfortable enough with them that you can ask those kinds of questions.

And then, the time comes, when you don’t even have to ask.

They just know to tell you.

And that’s when you know it’s true love.

Which is why my stocking stuffer from my neighborbesties this year could not have been more perfect:

This gift, this little token that fits in the palm of my hand, symbolizes so much for me;

a year’s worth of fun memories, the feeling like you’re in college again when you can walk back and forth between houses to grab things like a bottle opener or a bottle (or, you know, a bottle),

so many nights where I have laughed until my stomach hurt

or sang my heart out.

So in celebrating the good,

and in practicing gratitude,

I think of all of those quotes, that are some derivation of,

“I didn’t have to look far to find happiness, it was right in front of me.”

Well, in my case, it is right next door.

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and a handful of pictures to go with it,

so that I can illustrate our family’s coziest Christmas Eve,

just the four of us,

but because I was so warm and cozy, you see, I fell asleep on the fluffy faux fur rug by the fire

and my husband says that if I start writing I will get all riled up and I should just stay calm and go to bed.

Because today…

today has been A DAY.

So I’m actually not technically breaking his rule;

I came upstairs to shower and get into bed (I have a lot of sleep to catch up on)

but first, I am not really writing a blog post, just this, the tiniest of tiny things,

which was not the story of our cozy night.

Except, it was. A little.

Our house was dark.

The kids were asleep in their beds, and rain fell outside our window.

We turned off the lights and stretched out, under blankets, on the rug by the fire.

I let myself drift off, enveloped by warmth of all kinds.

And I will leave it at that. More in the morn.

I can’t break all the rules.

But, I’ll have you know that in the shower I will be singing the verse that is swirling through my brain on repeat:

Staring at the fire for hours and hours while I listen to you
Play your love songs all night long for me, only for me.

Come to me now and rest your head for just five minutes, everything is good.

“Our House” By Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, which just so happens to have been the first concert my husband and I ever saw together.

Really going now.

Everything is good.

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This morning, I woke up to a pleasant surprise. I got an email from an old high school friend–

Well, really, if I am being honest, she is an old high school friend of my husband’s; to me, she was just this incredibly beautiful and cool Senior whom I looked at and admired from afar. Come to think of it, to this day, I don’t know that she knows this; that my Freshman friends and I would look at her Senior yearbook portrait in awe. She is that pretty. But she’s also nice. And fun. And brave. And my husband’s high school friends deserve a post of their own, so look out for that.

She sent me this article, to give, as she said, “a little bit of mojo”, which is amazing.

The article talks about how 2014, for many, was an awful year; for some, their worst yet.

I would raise my hand with those people. I say it all the time. This has been the worst year of my life. But the also the most meaningful, for sure. And that is what this article is all about. The author could have gone into my brain and taken the words right from inside my head. If you know my writing, you will see.

She writes,

“Because 2014 was hard for many, many people.

For you, it might be going down as one of the worst years you can remember.

For you, it may have brought you to your knees more times than you could count.

For you, it may have left you breathless … hopeless … tired and weary.

But before you eagerly slam the door on 2014, I ask you to look down at your hands.

See that dirt under your fingernails?

My friend, that is beautiful. That is remarkable. That is significant.

You could have let go. But you didn’t.

You could have given up. But you didn’t.

You hung on.

You hung on.

And here’s what I believe:

I believe 2014 was not your worst year, but possibly your greatest.

Your Year of Greatest Strength
Your Year of Greatest Faith
Your Year of Greatest Hope
Your Year of Greatest Patience
Your Year of Greatest Risk
Your Year of Greatest Determination
Your Year of Greatest Courage

Just look at that dirt beneath your fingernails.

That is what you are made of.

Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it remarkable? Isn’t it significant?

It was your Year of Greatest Survival.

And you lived to tell about it.

Thank you for holding on.

Let us celebrate.

Let us celebrate.”

Just as I wrote last month, this year, all I want to do is to live and to do so fully. My poor friends; You should see how many emails they get from me about Christmas cookies and Secret Santas and our New Year’s Eve menu. How many screenshots I send with inspirational quotes and love notes. But the fact that I can not only feel but feel excitment? I am holding onto that, I am holding on with every ounce of strength I can muster.

And so it was a normal Tuesday morning this morning and we were up early, and we are supposed to be on a tropical island,

but instead, I was cuddled up on the couch and my daughter was across the room, and my son was playing on the floor and my husband called from the kitchen that we were out of coffee. He would make a run to the coffee shop and get us all treats, he said.

And when he left, I called my daughter over to me. “I want you,” I said, as I held out my arms to her and then wrapped them around her, kissed her face, and snuggled her close to me.

“I want you to be happy,” was her reply.

Let us celebrate, indeed.

(This morning’s coffee was sponsored c/o Twin and Go Go)

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