you will know that I am an enormous fan of the person and musician named Brett Dennen. You might know that my favorite song is “Sydney (I’ll Come Running)” because of it’s profound meaning to me. Or that I cover his song “Make You Fall in Love With Me” with my band, Fox & the Hounds.

If you know me in real life, you will know that I don’t just love his albums for the quality of the music, but because they have lifted me up during some of my lowest times while enduring my “Hard Story”;

Or this amazing story, during the height of my postpartum, and how, so serendipitously, the liner notes for “Smoke and Mirrors” read, “This album is dedicated to those who might have lost their way but found it again from within.”

Well, it has been a great ride following this person.

And then, he liked my Instagram photo.

Did you catch that?

Oh, hi, Brett Dennen.

Brett Dennen, himself, liked my Instagram photo. Sure he has favorited my tweets; yeah, he called me out for having a “beautiful voice” during his last acoustic show in Wilmington, DE; but when I saw this, I really think that my heart stopped. And I can hardly type, I am so shaky. I am a total nerdy fangirl right now.

This particular gesture means so much to me because it has to do with my kids, both of whom share my love for Brett Dennen.

My daughter likes to play “I’m Kristina Jackson“, Brett’s beautiful partner who is also an incredible natural foods chef and “holistic guru”.

We are both totally nerdy fangirls. But it’s OK. We totally own it.

Because that’s what Brett’s music is all about; be who you are, make no apologies, live your best life.

So today will forever be the day when I woke up from a two hour nap, walked in my daughter’s room to see her listening to Brett Dennen on the iPad, posted a photo on Instagram

and had Brett Dennen like it.

The end.

The post Oh, hi, Brett Dennen. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

So, when I heard this song, I was moved, immediately, and sent messages to my husband, and to J, for different reasons; because CSNY was our first concert together and because my inner spirit is a peace sign to her.

Tumbleweed, your inner spirit is a peace sign to me
Life is full of little tricks and we can always pick up sticks
And build again, that’s what we do

Harmony, the way we hold on when we tumble though the night
Life is full of strange delights, in the darkness we find lights
To make our way, back home again

Tumbleweed, I’m baring my soul to you
Tumbleweed, it’s all that I’ve got that’s true

Bite me now, with your confusion, your happiness and delight
It will only hurt a moment, then it’s gone and you can see
There’s nothing left, to leave a mark

Animal, care for your kind, in the way you always do
When the flower moon is shining, it’s eclipse and your lips smiling
Comfort me and I comfort you

It is interesting; when I heard the acoustic version of this song on the “Coffeehouse” station this morning, it was sung as “Tumbleweed, your inner spirit is a peace sign to me.” and that is the same diction used in the official listing of the song lyrics. However, in the link above, which is considered the video for the song, the lyrics are changed to “Tumbleweed, your inner beauty is a peace sign to me.”

I will take either.

Also on “Coffeehouse” I heard this old classic, about which I texted my main band bro, saying, “We should totally do this song!” and then proceeded to belt it out, emoting greatly, publicly, on Lancaster Avenue.

My drive took me to Vivi G. shoes in Eagle Village. It was the coldest day in recent memory, but I wanted to get my flip flop on.

I have mentioned recently that I am just finally starting to very, very slowly replace a few items from my lost shoe collection and I was so lucky that my girl, Jen, owner of Vivi G., hooked me up with my sandal start. But I also managed to have a little fun…

After my quick shoe shopping trip, I had a much more profound trip down memory lane. I met up for tea with an old friend. All that I can and will say is that this person was once very special to me, and though I have not seen her in closer to two decades than one, she now means more to me than ever. She is what I call a Unicorn; she is someone who is, if you can believe it, equally beautiful inside and out. Her inner spirit is a peace sign to me.

 The rest of my day was spent doing regular, every day things. I went to the bank. I picked up an entire roll of tinfoil off of my first floor. I spoke on the phone with my friends.

And when it came time to do bedtime, my daughter asked if she could read along with us.

My kid is reading and it is really cool.

I, meanwhile, could barely read “Fox in Socks”, despite the fact that I consider myself to be a master at tongue twisters (I even teach classes on the things!) and definitely said some inappropriate words. Sorry, Dr. Seuss.

We somehow made it through the Tweedle Beetle Battle and cuddled up and talked her favorite subject, once again: the plans for her upcoming birthday party. “We could do a swimming party,” she said. Her birthday is April 18. “Where are we going to be able to have a swimming party?” I asked.

“Miami!”

I held her to me and did want to let go.

I chose a new lullaby for my daughter tonight. “Kiss Me”. I thought she would like it.

I was right.

And a few minutes ago, long after we tucked her into bed, as I was working on gathering the music for this post, she came to my door and said,

“Keep on playing it,” she whispered. “It’s amazing.”

Her inner beauty is a peace sign to me.

The post Your inner spirit is a peace sign to me. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

I was just looking up the video that I made chronicling my past year in music, and do you know how YouTube shows you a list of videos down the right sidebar of the screen suggesting music that you may like, based on what you are watching currently? Well, I cannot imagine why, but if you are watching my Fox & the Hounds review, the top video that YouTube recommends for you is an obscure video of Brett Dennen singing “Out of My Head” in what appears to be a little guitar shop.

And the reason why I am sharing this, besides the fact that he is my favorite musical artist and he gives me warm and fuzzy feelings inside, is because I find Brett Dennen to be absolutely charming. He is loveable. And I think you can see that here.

And I cherish every charming moment I can;

like this morning when my daughter traded videos with a new yet old friend of mine, involving doggie dance parties, mermaid costumes and “The Book With No Pictures” recitations;

or when we were giving Lola attention and my girl ran upstairs, changed and came down in a pink dress (the color of Lola’s bow) and dog ears;

or, how my son put his head up to mine (his version of a kiss) and said, “Mama”;

or how my daughter said, “Daddy, can you set up my wifi connection?” and we said “Do you know what that means?” and she said, “No. What does it mean?”;

Just a few happy moments that I can gather up into one little, metaphorical charm to place in my pocket and keep with me today.

Give your love, give your love, give your love now.

Any you get it back and you get it back

Featured Image captured by Lindsay Docherty Photography in 2014

The post Charming. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

Several years ago, I wrote a post specifically about my love of and history with music; But, in truth, music has infiltrated almost every space of this site. I write about our daily dance parties, my deep love for the music of Brett Dennen, my rich history with musical theatre and the soundtrack that makes up my life.

This past year, through all of the darkness, I have had one unexpected and unparalleled bright spot. I have been able to make music.

First, as a teacher. This past summer, I was the performing arts director for a most wonderful program and got to teach classes in musical theatre. The middle and high school students whom I taught were incredible; so open, so brave, so talented. I got to teach and stage and choreograph numbers from Rent and Wicked and Newsies and I got to give young people the confidence to share their voices with the world. I have been teaching musical theatre professionally in some capacity for nearly 10 years, but really, since I was 14 and came back to my middle school to be assistant vocal director for their musicals. I am passionate about music and about instilling a feeling of self assurance in young people, and so this summer was a, pardon me for this, season of love.

But nothing, nothing can compare to the band. I am the lead singer of a rock band called Fox & the Hounds. I am lucky enough to have my next door neighbor serve double duty, as he is my bandmate and our alpha. I started playing with him and another supremely talented guitarist in June of 2013, singing cover songs, messing around on Spotify and watching my belly grow by the minute.

Last winter, despite all of the bad going on in my life, we managed to keep the band alive. And not only did we keep it going, but we added to it, so that by the Spring, we had a bassist, a drummer and had gone electric. My summer was spent in the basement of our guitarist’s home, sharing beers and stories and rocking out as hard as we possibly could to every single song we each wanted to play.

(Except for “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow”. I could not get them to play “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.” To be fair, they could not get me to sing “Living on a Prayer”.)

Each member of the band brought something different in talent and personality and practice was something that I looked forward to, almost craved, each Wednesday night. It fed my soul.

Towards the end of the summer, the guitarist and I even started to write some of our own material, as he came up with a blues jam to which I put words and a melody.

Bands evolve and morph and at this time we spend most of our practicing playing acoustic, back to our roots, hibernating for the winter, as I say.

I try to tell my bandmates how much they mean to me. I write them nice emails thanking them for being the best parts of my otherwise bleak year. But they are dudes. They are good to me and ever so kind and compassionate, but they are still dudes, and I will never get a “You mean so much to me, too!!!!” in return, but I’m OK with that, because they give me that by continuing to play with me whenever possible.

Because of Fox & the Hounds I have grown tremendously as a musician. I have learned to perform in a whole new way and have tackled musical obstacles that I once thought impossible. And I have my guys to thank for that.

I don’t want to continue to embarrass them (in fact, I am positive that being publicly praised on Facebook is about the last thing that certain band members want, but…tough). I just want to say thank you.

***

Out of all of the things that defined this past year, I feel so blessed that music has been one of my greatest supports. The gratitude I have for the music in my life is hard for me to describe in plain words.

I got an incredible gift from my favorite singer, got to see a ton of live shows, and, had quite possibly the coolest experience of my life when I saw Brett Dennen play an acoustic show in Wilmington, Delaware, as I was leaning on the stage (I was that close), and he asked the audience to sing along, and then he called me out for having a “beautiful voice”, engaging in an entire conversation about my singing and my band with me in front of the packed audience.

But when it comes to music, there is only so much you can say; sometimes you just have to hear. So, I have made a small compilation of my year in music. The gigs, the dance parties, the bloopers and the craziness. It has been the best ride of my life.

*Note: at the end credits, Oasis was left out mistakenly from our list of brilliant musicians. So Oasis, if you are reading this, please don’t look back in anger.

The post Fox & the Hounds and the time of my life. And, a video! appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

Last year=THE WORST

This year=cheery, cozy, chocolatey, chummy, cocoa-y, Christmasy, Chinese food-y, cookie party-y, etc.

I have a whole Christmas Story (not to be confused with A Christmas Story, mostly due to the fact that I have never seen that film) waiting to share with you tomorrow, but for now, just a little taste…

or, in my case, a sip.

***

In the cast of characters in our lives,

our amazing next-door-neighbors-turned-dear-friends have moved from “guest stars” to regulars in the opening credits.

We are super tight, and feel incredibly lucky.

In the past year, they have been so many things for us (drinking buddies, babysitters, bandmates, shoulders to cry on, video-game teammates).

They are amazing people and solid friends.

And in the past two years since we moved next door to them, we have had drinks together approximately 100 times. I’m not great with numbers, but that seems fairly accurate.

And I like red wine. And red wine likes to stain my lips and teeth.

So you know, if you’re like me, and your lips take up a good  1/3 of your face, when you are drinking red wine with people who are your new friends, you kind of surreptitiously signal your spouse, asking, “Are my lips purple?”

And then, as time goes on, you lose some inhibition, and you ask your spouse publicly.

And then, as more time passes, you ask your friends, because you’ve grown comfortable enough with them that you can ask those kinds of questions.

And then, the time comes, when you don’t even have to ask.

They just know to tell you.

And that’s when you know it’s true love.

Which is why my stocking stuffer from my neighborbesties this year could not have been more perfect:

This gift, this little token that fits in the palm of my hand, symbolizes so much for me;

a year’s worth of fun memories, the feeling like you’re in college again when you can walk back and forth between houses to grab things like a bottle opener or a bottle (or, you know, a bottle),

so many nights where I have laughed until my stomach hurt

or sang my heart out.

So in celebrating the good,

and in practicing gratitude,

I think of all of those quotes, that are some derivation of,

“I didn’t have to look far to find happiness, it was right in front of me.”

Well, in my case, it is right next door.

The post “Are my lips purple?” appeared first on Mommy Ever After.

By the way, you must remember, I am the girl who has only had one set of business cards in her entire life…

and they were Betty Boop business cards I had personalized for me at FAO Schwartz that read, “Star of Stage and Screen”.

The fact that I have a whole team is extremely exciting and entirely humbling, to say the least.

I have spent the past four and a half years writing about nursing a toddler and nursing colds,

meeting milestones and making mischief and making mistakes–

and this next step–this leap of faith–has been huge.

In any case, we were discussing Mommy, Ever After and the new site and some real businessy things that are too businessy for me to even try to explain,

and then we ended the conversation with her saying, “Your voice is different in this “new” MEA. I can’t really put my finger on how, but it reads differently.”

And I think I get what she is saying. The fact is, Mommy, Ever After has evolved and morphed and shifted in ways I could have never predicted when I started writing. It used to be more of a daily diary, with tidbits about my goings-on and the chronicles of new parenthood.

It was my baby book.

Once I started developing an audience, I wrote more in depth posts, serializing stories like how my husband and I met, how we got engaged, my birth story, etc.

I talked about tutus and dance parties and sparkly shoes. I talked about some more poignant things, like my lost loved ones and how that has given me my thing for feathers. But, one thing that hasn’t changed is that I have always been really honest. I have called myself out for being crazy, I have talked about my weaknesses and fears, I have asked for help.

Because I have always wanted to help. I wanted people, women or men, parents or teens or grandparents, to be able to read a post and say, “I am not alone.”

That was when Mommy, Ever After was “A Happy Story”.

And then my life took an unexpected turn. “A Hard Story”.

And as I slowly climb back up, step by step, day by day, sometimes minute by minute, I do feel like I am living “A Hopeful Story”. Because I refuse to give up.

In any case, the conversation with my manager inspired me to tell you a little bit about what you can expect, in just the coming week, as we all get acclimated to our new home here.

(By the way, I hope you like our new digs. If you get the chance and have not already, check it out from a computer. There is so much more to see in a less condensed way.)

So this week I will be:

Giving a tour of the site, so that you can see all of the new features I have to offer. I will guide you to the best places that will meet your needs and you will learn how to use all of the new buttons and categories and columns most effectively.

Posting the sequel to my old post about music; because since I published that post years ago, I have been lucky enough to become the lead singer of an amazing band, Fox & the Hounds. It has changed my life for the better (and for good).

Sharing a behind-the-scenes look at an amazing skincare line, as you learn everything you have ever wanted to know about how to reveal your most beautiful self. And not just outer beauty; these ladies are all about supporting one another, encouraging true teamwork and being positive cheerleaders for friends, colleagues and life.

Exploring the world of anxiety, which is an affliction that so many people face, but so few actually verbalize.

Reflecting on my recent Hanukkah experience and all of it’s firsts.

Telling the stories of our fun holiday happenings with The Tribe.

And just being the Me(a) that I have always been; forever candid, sometimes cray cray, occasionally humorous and ever so grateful.

So settle in, find a cozy spot and stick around.

The best is yet to be.

The post What is in store? Ever so much more. appeared first on Mommy Ever After.