You may remember driving while pacifying and the new rules of the road that govern the streets of the Land of Mom.
Well, today, I realized a new rule: Driving While Rattling.
You see, my normally pleasant, giggly girl decided to scream during our entire 10 minute segue from Point A to Point B.
10 minutes may not seem like a lot…
but trust me, when there’s a baby screaming, it is. Oh, how it is.
In any case, it happened to be one of those drives during which I encountered many, many red lights.
I had to think on my feet,
or,
wheels,
as the case was,
and so, I had to assuage her upset by shaking a rattle,
relentlessly,
in her face.
What can I tell you, this girl loves her some pink sparkly rattle.
So, I was forced to Drive While Rattling,
which really meant that I was using my pinky and ring fingers to hold the pacifier in her mouth and my thumb and pointer finger to shake the rattle.
I won’t tell you what I was doing with my middle finger.
And, finally,
blissfully,
she stopped crying.
I cringed, as I saw a cop coming towards me, realizing that it was time for me to put both hands back on the steering wheel.
I braced myself for the ranting to resume,
when, miraculously,
I heard the shake shake shake of the pink, sparkly rattle beads.
Oh yeah.
I had forgotten.
My daughter knows how to shake her own rattle, now.
She can also (well, we’re talking most of the time, here) put her pacifier back into her own mouth.
Silly me.
I guess DWR is not, in fact, driving while rattling.
It’s Driving While Ridiculous.
That’s my name, don’t wear it out.