Two days ago, I turned my back for one second,
just to write an email,
and when I turned back around, the baby was wearing my bra.
Yesterday, I turned my back for one second,
just to fold the laundry,
and when I turned back around, my baby had a pair of my underwear on her head.
Just now, I turned by back for one second,
just to sort through the mail,
and when I turned back around, the baby had gone into the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Cointreau. 
So, the moral of the story is,
I will no longer be turning by back, even for one second,
just in case the babe decides she’s in the mood to reenact the town scene from “Wet Hot American Summer”.
‘Cause when you turn your back, even for just one second, it can go from
little child
to baby’s gone wild
before you can turn back around again.