Idle Idol

Last week,
a funny thing happened on my way to my Facebook.
An old friend from childhood, with whom I’ve recently reconnected, posted a clever “status update” about our High School Senior Year Superlatives. In her status, she mentioned being a finalist in the category of “Most Likely to be the Next American Idol”.
I read it,
and then read it again,
and then stopped,
read it again,
scratched my head,
and said to myself, “Wait. I think I won that.”
Now, let me just say this: this never would have been a question 16 months ago.
My pre-pregnancy, pre-motherhood memory was remarkable (pardon me for being boastful, but to this day, I can still remember my whole two lines from my first grade play.
Oh, you want to hear them?
Nah.
Really?
Nah.
Are you sure?
Okay, you twisted my arm.
“We’ve done symphonies, operas, concerts, duets–you think we’d be able to pay all our debts.”
I guess I should have mentioned that our first grade play was Of Mice and Mozart. I was Mozart’s Wife. I had toilet-paper-roll white ringlets and a black beauty mark on my cheek. See! I remember things! Or, I did.)
In any case, my motherhood memory is a bit shakier.
So, when I saw this post about our Senior Superlatives, I was sure that I had won Next American Idol as my superlative.
But, then I wasn’t so sure. I called my parents to ask them.
“Yes, you won that.” They Said.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” They said.
“Positive???”
“I think you did.”
See?
So I turned to J.
I sent her a long, crazy rant of bbms, asking her if she remembered if I had won this or not.
She said that I did.
But, again, was not positive.
So, being the amazing friend that she is (Hi, J!), she dug up the proof.
Ready for it?

Funny, right?
Also funny is that this award did not come out of nowhere;
I am a singer, and have been performing since I could talk. I acted and sang and danced in school plays and concerts and recitals for my whole young life. So, naturally, when American Idol premiered, I was hooked. I needed to get on that show.
(Not to mention, I had just Macarena’d with Season 1 Runner-Up Justin Guarini at my sister’s Bat-Mitzvah–he was a hired dancer for the event, about 2 minutes before his debut on Idol. ‘Twas meant to be.)
And so, when Fox announced that Idol would be continuing for Season 2, I decided that I would audition. I picked out my outfit (jeans that laced up the legs, an embellished tunic, a side braid, green eyeliner…you know…my usual garb. ), rehearsed my song tirelessly (I was going to sing “Holding Out For a Hero”), and booked a 4am train ticket to New York City. My mom, my friend and her mom set off, on our middle of the night trek to the city. Unfortunately, our Idol dreams were crushed as soon as we arrived at our destination, as we immediately found out that the Producers had given out 2am wrist bands to the hopefuls who had camped out for days in front of auditions building. Our chances were over before they ever began. Our trip was not, however, a complete bust; we got to eat a delicious hotel brunch, shop at Century 21 and my friend and I even got to sing Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This” on the New York City News.
So while I have yet to fulfill my promise of being the Next American Idol, I do get to practice my singing daily.
Like last night, for instance, as I was driving my daughter home from a visit to Mommom and Poppop’s.
She screamed, and I sang over to, to try to calm her down, while simultaneously keeping her awake. If you’re a mom, you so know what I’m talking about.
So while I dug through my repertoire,
singing everything from Itsy Bitsy Spider
to Bacio Me Bambino
to Werewolf Bar Mitzvah
I felt a little bit like a crazy person,
and a little bit like an idol.
Because, guess what?
It worked.
My singing soothed her. She stayed up. She started to coo.
And no, this kind of singing doesn’t make me the big bucks, or give me worldwide renown,
it gives me exactly what I need;
a smiling, happy baby.
And that’s the best superlative of them all.
 

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