March Second.
It was a very cold, Saturday morning. I was home alone with my daughter, as my husband was out at a boy brunch to celebrate our dear family friend’s birthday.
(As a side note, this group of guys, which includes my dad, husband, brousins, family friend and his sons, is called the E Street Supper Club. How freakin’ cute is that!?)
I was home alone with my daughter, and I remember it being a snuggly day. I was wearing my softest, new shirt, a Valentine’s Day gift from my guy.
I was a week late.
We had just decided to try to expand our family the month before, and I had this strange feeling that our initial try had worked. I just had a feeling. And this feeling was compounded when a mother from my glass said that I was glowing. I told her I was just gaining weight. I had no idea.
So I took a test at the end of February, a bit early, and it was negative. I felt disproportionately disappointed.
But I just felt pregnant. I felt life.
So my daughter and I were hanging at home and, one a whim, I take a pregnancy test that I had leftover in my linen closet.
Within thirty seconds one line appeared, but it was confusing; it wasn’t the control line. It was the other. Line. The Yes. Line. And it was bold.
And there I was, in the softest, pink striped shirt, and I told my daughter, “I’m pregnant” and she had no idea what that meant, and I had no idea what it would mean, but I was shocked and excited and in a tizzy (a happy tizzy) all at once.
And my husband wouldn’t be home for hours!
And my mom was on an airplane to St. Thomas.
So my daughter and I wrapped up the pee stick in a box to present it to my husband.
And when he got home, she gave it to him.
And he cried. And I cried. And we touched my barely there tummy in the pink stripes and we felt the enormity of all that was happening.
And then we Facetimed my sister. I held up the test.
She was jumping out of her skin with delight.
And, as I mentioned before, I invited my dad over and told him to look on the mantle. Between my two new mirrored sconces I had my positive test.
And as soon as my mom landed you better believe I called her. I wish I hadn’t had to tell her on the phone, and from so far away, but she was overwhelmed with joy.
But life went on. Unlike the first time, when your whole world can be consumed, we still had a child to take care of and entertain. So I remember taking her to the library.
And I remember, as she tottered around the kid’s section, running my hands across the “Big Sister” books and thinking “There’s a baby in there. There’s a baby in there. She’s going to be a big sister.”
So today, as my daughter and son both decided to wake up at 6,
I am dressed early.
And I’m sure you can guess what I decided to wear.