You know the age old expression that tells you that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question…”?
Yeah, I’m here to disagree.
In the past year, I have been asked more silly questions than I can count.
And, if I’m being completely honest,
I may have asked a few doozies myself.
Today, I had my 4-month-Post-Pregnancy check-up with my OBGYN,
and, of course,
(among many other fun things)
I was asked a grillion questions.
And so, I got to thinking about pregnancy-related questions.
What it is about a baby bump that makes people
lose their minds?
There is the standard barrage of questions;
when are you due? boy or girl? epidural or natural? natural, are you crazy?
And then, the occasional, and, clearly brilliant,
was this planned?
That’s a great one.
My favorite was always “are you sure there’s only one in there?”
What are you supposed to say to that?
Har Har. Nope. Not sure! Maybe the doctor missed one! Har Har. Oh, wait, my mistake, there are 2 babies. A human baby and a food baby. Damn that 3am Pop-Tart.
The idiotic inquiries never seemed to end.
I remember going to an educational conference during my fourth month of pregnancy.
Another teacher came up to me,
pointed to the tiny baby bump that was peaking out my striped turtleneck sweater,
and asked, “You’re pregnant???!!?!”
No, why? Am I looking a little thick in the middle? Oops, it’s those darn Pop-Tarts again. They really sneak up on ya!
(Okay, I didn’t really say that. I probably just smiled. Maybe an eye roll. Maybe.)
She continued.
“OMGGGGGG. How old are you???”
Fifteen.
(Yes, I did really say that. I wanted to make her squirm. It worked. She pivoted away from me and made a bee-line for the table with the granola bars.)
Questions, questions, everywhere.
Another favorite question of mine?
“How much weight have you gained?”
Let me just tell you, this will never end well.
Scenario A:
Mom to be: “Oh, just 18 pounds.”
Ridiculous Question Asker: “REALLY? That’s ALL? I can’t believe it! But you’re belly is HUGE!”
Scenario B:
M2B: “30 lbs or so.”
RQA: “WOW, really? You don’t look like you gained THAT much! That’s a TON.”
See what I mean?
Too many question marks for all of those hormones.
Not a good ratio. Trust me.
So, the next time you see a pregnant lady,
try to refrain from pointing at her belly and giving her the Grand Inquisition.
Because guess what? You could find yourself committing the greatest question faux pas of all; the “when are you due?” to a non-preggo.
That, I believe, is the worst.
And then that poor lady will be forced to go home, drown her sorrows in Pop-Tarts and her belly will only grow bigger.
You don’t need to be responsible for that vicious cycle.
Just bite that inquisitive little tongue of yours and let M2B go off on her merry, waddle-y way. She deserves it. She’s growing a human.
And, perhaps, a food baby.