This quote is one I heard more times than I count, while studying under my English Professor/mentor/Hemingway scholar in my last two years of Undergrad. It came into my head tonight, as I was mulling over some of the current goings on in my life.
You see, as I write to you, on here, daily, I share a lot with you. I share a lot with the people in my life. I have been known to walk the over-sharing tight-rope, at times. My desire to share is part of the reason why I decided to start blogging; I wanted to create a forum in which people could speak honestly and vent and learn and, of course, share.
But, that does not mean I share everything.
Yes, I’ve shared my craziness, my anxieties, my mishaps, and, of course, all I’ve learned.
But, there are also many things I’ve kept to myself.
I will be the first one to say that I feel very, very blessed.
I have a lovely, loving husband, an incredible family, giving friends, two sweet dogs, a home I like, a job I love and, of course,
the world’s most precious baby.
But, with all of this good, there also is some bad. And frustrating. And difficult. And sad.
But I am not here to complain. I won’t sit here and moan and cry about the worries that keep me up at night, the things that make me angry, the things that make me cry (well, OK, I will, but only a little bit). Who would want to read that?
But that does not mean that I do not tell you the truth. Every single thing I write on here is completely true, and I often question myself, wondering if I’m being too honest. Yes, sometimes it’s embarrassing. Yes, sometimes I regret how much I’ve shared. Yes, sometimes I shake my head, as I call my Pop-Pop to tell him some news, and he informs me that he already knows. He’s “read it on my blog”.
But I always tell the truth.
I have been thinking over this idea since I read this Time Stands Still article, on ramshackleglam, my go-to blog; my favorite.
As a long-time, devoted reader of her site, I would probably say that Jordan, the beautiful author, lives a charmed life. I would probably say she seems very happy. I would probably say that I know her. But in this poignant post about telling the truth, I realized that although she is very honest and shares so much of her life on her blog, there is plenty that we, that I, do not know.
So, what does it mean to write the truest sentence? Do I have to include everything?
When I post an online photo of the baby smiling, should I also be posting the 7 other awkward, funny-faced photos that I had to snap in order to get the winner? Is my chosen photo less true?
When I write, constantly, that my daughter is named for a Disney Princess,
should I also write that as much as I love her name,
I would change it in a minute,
in a second,
in a breath,
if I could get back the man who she is named for?
Did I choose her name because I had been in love with the name of this Princess since childhood?
Did I choose her name to honor my beloved Uncle?
Both statements are the truth, whether I mention them both, every time, or not.
So, I guess I am answering my own question;
that as much as I love writing to you each day,
that these love letters should really be addressed to myself,
as they are my vehicle for self reflection;
my way of forcing myself to look in the mirror;
my truth serum.
This is my baby book.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is Thank You.
Thanks for being here,
for sticking with me on this ride.
Sometimes it’s silly
and sometimes it’s sad
and sometimes it’s rambling, as I fear it is now,
but at the end of the day, it is true.
And I thank you for letting me speak to you, in the truest way I know how,
in the truest sentences I can write,
each and every day.
And, with all that said,
I can tell you,
to stay tuned.
Because this is only the beginning of my thanking you.
I have a little surprise in store,
to really thank you for being here,
for helping me to navigate through the land of mom,
on this quest to find my ever after.
So, keep reading.
If you promise to do that,
I promise to keep telling you the full, crazy, pooped-on, peed-on, scary, mommy truth.
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