I used to get manicures.

Now, I have bare nails and toes, on the reg.

I bite my daughters nails for her, though.

I used to have abs.

Now, I have stretch marks.

Seriously, I had a 6 pack.

Okay, so maybe it was a 4 pack.

I was packing.

I pack, no more.

It used to be no shirt, no shoes, no problem.

Now, it’s no makeup, no bra, no dignity.

I used to change my outfit once,

sometimes twice,

before a night out.

Now I change my outfit

because I’ve been thrown up on.

Or peed on.

Or I’m wearing PJs.

I used to talk baby talk to my dog.

Now, I make animal sounds for my baby.

I used to have no one but myself to worry about.

Now I worry about everyone’s everything

in my little family.

But I’d rather worry about everything

than have nothing

to worry about.

I used to dream about being a mommy,

and about having a baby to call my own.

Now, I dream about accidentally eating tomato soup (Too acidic! Causes reflux!) and forgetting that I have to feed the baby.

Wait,

who am I kidding? Dreaming would mean that I’d actually get to fall into a deep sleep.

I used to have the greatest memory.

Seriously,

I can still recite my lines from my first grade play.

I’d tell you what it’s like for me now,

but

I forget what I was going to say.