Dear Kenny

Dear Kenny, As I leave the hospital, the place where both of our babies were born, and handed to us, and first fed by me, and diapered by you, I hit a sea of blue scrubs, all in different shades and tones. When I first pulled up this morning, for an early test, I thought that it would be like living out ...

Babysitting

originally published on this here site, over four years ago, and I still feel the very same way! Photo circa April, 2014 -- Beau's former signature move. Today, he is still just as crafty, he is just a lot taller.  Or, as I like to call it, “Why everyone who wants to be a parent someday should babysit ...

Being a parent is hard.

"Did you feel the house sway?" I asked, trepidatiously. The people around me all nodded, as we peered outside the sunroom windows, staring at a blowing blanket of white snow. "I know that we all felt the house move when that cyclone passed over us, but our house is over 100 years old, so it must be ...

never enough

All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough Never be enough For me (- by Pasek and Paul, for "The Greatest Showman") Yesterday, I got to thinking (in therapy) about something really ...

a blogger?

Hello, my friends. How are you, on this fine day? Did you rest well? I sure hope so. Speaking of rest, I was thinking of you this morning, at 4:30, when I was roused from slumber and then could not manage to fall back to sleep. I tried all of my go-to tricks; the healthy ones, to start. ...

“I need to access your heart.”

"Does that stethoscope really work?" he asked, his blue, marble-like eyes widening. "Of course! I am a real doctor," I said, straightening the lab coat I had gotten made for his Halloween birthday party. I'd had it embroidered with "Meredith Grey M.D. F.A.C.S." to wear along with my scrubs, messy bun, Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital ID badge, and converse ...

It made my heart hurt.

Last Monday, when I picked my kids up from school, my son was brimming with excitement. "MOM," he said, breathlessly. "I had the BEST DAY. We went to the LIBRARY and I got to take out a BOOK for the WHOLE WEEK!" His excitement made me excited, and so that night the four of us cuddled up in his bed ...

Not enough

The photo above was taken last month at Ludlow House, on the Lower East Side, for my sister's pub day party. It shows a little bit of sparkle. And makeup. And the cool updo. And glitter. Gotta get my glitter back.  *** I couldn’t have scripted this any better. This morning, I woke up and I lingered in ...

Motherhood Understood

Hey! It's been a long time, now hasn't it? I've missed you! And, it's been a really long time since we've gone deep. Or talked about boobs. I had the chance to do all of these things, and so much more, when I spoke to Brooke and Jen of Motherhood Understood, a place where guilt can be thrown ...

The Hardest Post

This post - titled, "The Hardest Post I've Ever Written," was originally published on here on February 24, 2014: on my son's four-month-birthday.  That means, of course, that this was written at exactly four months postpartum, for me. I am re-posting this, today, to give context to some of what is to come; some of what ...