filing nails writing a letter pumping preparing a fruit salad sterilizing bottles feeding the dogs doing sit-ups braiding a challah (I haven't actually tried this one, but it's an educated guess) sending a text message or, actually, writing a text message trying on shoes making a smoothie folding laundry putting on mascara picking up 8lb Yorkshire Terrier eating sushi putting the fitted sheet on a king bed (but really, is that ...

Do you know what happens when you give in to your dreams of letting your child run free, with nothing reigning her  in or holding her back.... ...including diapers? You get peed on. That's what happens. So, if you ever so generously decide to let your daughter do Tummy Time sans diaper, thinking that she may appreciate a little freedom, freedom of the ...

In case you didn't believe me.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was somewhat of a child bride. Except, not really. I got married in my early-ish twenties, so, I guess by today’s standards I was somewhat of an infant, but hey, at least I was legal, right? The same cannot, in fact, be said for my mother, who got married at the ripe old age ...

So, this morning, while baby and I were having a dance party, and I was singing The Jackson Five's "I Want You Back" into the remote control, you know, just like all moms and babies do on a rainy Wednesday morning, baby grabbed my hand and pulled the "microphone" up to her face and opened her mouth. O.M.G. Future Broadway ...

So, the baby just stole my pretty hair tie right off my wrist... ...and then proceeded to put in on her own wrist... ...and then proceeded to slide it up to her shoulder, and is wearing it now, as we  speak. Or, um, write. And I know this probably violates so many safety rules. And I know that I am ...

My daughter has taken to sticking her fist in her mouth. Don't worry, I keep her hands extremely clean. However, why do I keep having flashes to, say, about 21 years from now, when she's in a bar, trying to one-up the girl who claims she can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue?

used my belly as a tray table learned all about the linea negra got a prenatal massage wouldn't let the man at the nail salon massage me, anywhere was put on bed rest read a few too many books written by celebrities saw my daughter's heart beating heard my daughter's heart beating felt my heart skip a beat ate Thanksgiving dinner, several times ate my ...