Dear Kenny

Dear Kenny, As I leave the hospital, the place where both of our babies were born, and handed to us, and first fed by me, and diapered by you, I hit a sea of blue scrubs, all in different shades and tones. When I first pulled up this morning, for an early test, I thought that it would be like living out ...

Being a parent is hard.

"Did you feel the house sway?" I asked, trepidatiously. The people around me all nodded, as we peered outside the sunroom windows, staring at a blowing blanket of white snow. "I know that we all felt the house move when that cyclone passed over us, but our house is over 100 years old, so it must be ...

never enough

All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough Never be enough For me (- by Pasek and Paul, for "The Greatest Showman") Yesterday, I got to thinking (in therapy) about something really ...

a blogger?

Hello, my friends. How are you, on this fine day? Did you rest well? I sure hope so. Speaking of rest, I was thinking of you this morning, at 4:30, when I was roused from slumber and then could not manage to fall back to sleep. I tried all of my go-to tricks; the healthy ones, to start. ...

resolute

resolute (adjective): admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering. *** It is hard to believe that 2018 is coming to an end, and that 2019 is nearly upon us. 2018 was a particularly transformative year in my life, and in the lives of those nearest and dearest to me. In many ways, it was spectacular. Publicly, there were measures of personal growth ...

What I want, now.

Last year, right around this very time, I published a post called, What I Want, which was both a Holiday Wish List and a nod to The Spice Girls. Last November, I wrote, "There are so many meaningful things that I want this holiday season, and none of them can be held in my hands. I want for my family and ...

Healthy

The above photo is a selfie that was snapped last month. The "It's All Good" note on my shirt was a little hopeful, but mostly ironic. This post is a little hopeful but could be triggering. Please be aware and consider this a "trigger warning." *** This is a post that has been in the works for ...

“I need to access your heart.”

"Does that stethoscope really work?" he asked, his blue, marble-like eyes widening. "Of course! I am a real doctor," I said, straightening the lab coat I had gotten made for his Halloween birthday party. I'd had it embroidered with "Meredith Grey M.D. F.A.C.S." to wear along with my scrubs, messy bun, Grey + Sloan Memorial Hospital ID badge, and converse ...

Book Two!

This time five years ago if you told me that I would be the published author of a book called, "Beyond the Baby Blues" (or, really, anything!) I would have (I'm sorry to say this) probably rolled my eyes at you. While I am not rude by nature, I was 37-weeks-pregnant, anxious, depressed, terrified of my ...

#honestmotherhood

"I am calling this post #honestmotherhood, brought to you by this thing I try to do called honest motherhood. It is when I share things about my life -- motherhood in particular -- that are honest and raw and occasionally unflattering and sometimes comical. To get off on the right (honest) foot, I have to admit that I ...