Just the other day, it hit me that it was exactly two years ago this week that we found out that we were expecting.
It blows my mind. Two years, it has been? How the hay did that happen?
I can still remember exactly how I felt;
exactly what the world looked like;
exactly what I was wearing,
feather earrings and all.
Time, man. It’s slippery and strange and seems to be going so darn fast.
Like tonight, for instance, I found my very first IPod.
It was a birthday gift, from the month that I started dating my husband.
It is filled with the music that filled my days back then,
and every song reminds me of the way things were;
These songs still give me butterflies,
as in ahhhhh, is he going to call?
And I think I love him. I know I do.
And then, I want to have babies with this man.
Yet, I didn’t know then, all of those years ago,
that yes. He would call.
We would love me, too.
That a few years and a couple of EPT lines later,
we would have a baby together.
And so as I sat in bed tonight, listening to the tunes that I played over and over,
just as my life was really, truly, beginning,
I began to weep.
I cried with nostalgia. I cried with joy. I cried because I feel blessed. And maybe a little wistful.
I had forgotten so many of these songs. Songs that used to make my heart race and my legs feel like they were melting into jelly.
I love these songs.
And I am so happy to have them as a part of my soundtrack again.
Because even though our dance is now different,
we are still dancing to them together,
which is all I will ever want.
Although I don’t know if I will ever be comfortable with the rhythm of time,
or the tempo that it moves around us,
as long as I can dance with these most beautiful partners,
I will find a way to stay in stride.
And even if I miss a step,
we won’t miss a beat.