Once upon a time there was a boy.

This boy’s mother liked to, at times, talk with her friends and family via iMessage.

In the few minutes that she spent getting dressed, the boy became a Wild One.

The mother texted the boy’s father.

and some friends, with whom she was previously engaged in conversation.

The Wild One’s mother has amazing friends.

A performance artist. That is fabulous. The boy’s mother, while possessing some strengths, is lacking a few basic life skills.

And, in the continued spirit of kindness, another friend of the Wild One’s mother, a friend who is very close to the Wild One’s whole family, shared kind words.

A positive spin put on quite the messy situation.

And so, the Wild One had a feast of cheddar bunnies and cereal off of the floor, the mother salvaged as much of the snack mix as she could and put it in a jar, far out of reach (which may or may not prove to be disgusting) and then sucked her sweater up into the vacuum a few more times before using a broom, poorly.

The Wild One’s kitchen floor is covered with crumbs.

The End.